The Grannie Factor

I am not sure how far back Grandmothers have been playing such an important role in the black community. Big Momma, Madea, Grannie………all names associated with the matriarch of the black family. I call it "The Granny Factor". I would venture to believe that at least since the first Africans were brought to this country on slave ships, Grandparents have played a pivotal role in helping to raise their children's children. Probably going back even further. I am not an expert on African cultures, but it seems to come so naturally in our black culture that the Grandparents hold a very significant position in the lives of our black families. I am by no means taking away from other cultures or want to seem elitist in any way, but I am a black man and I can only speak from my own black experiences. However, I will say that a lot of my Asian friend’s families are very similar. How do you say Madea in Korean?

Well, Anyway......my Grannie's birthday just past and if she were still living she would have turned 85, I think, on August 18. So, I wanted to take a minute and give some props to Mrs. Annie Mae Newton, my Grannie!

I can’t think of my Grannie without first smiling…..and then the tears come. They are there for my own selfish reasons, I want her back. Grannie lost the battle with lung cancer in 1995 and even though we saw it coming, it did not make her passing any easier to take. Damn them Pall Mall unfiltered cigarettes!

There are so many fond, funny and full of love memories I have of my Grannie, but I think the cooking will stick with me for a long time. Let’s just say, when I was in the 5th grade, I was wearing a 34 Husky……for real!! LOL. The collard greens, cornbread and sweet potato pies and pound cake, she made it look so easy and although I can hook it up in the kitchen myself, I still can't get it right. The countless times that I called her from school because my momma would not give me a dollar to go to the pep rally or dance; Grannie would hop in her Lincoln Mark VII with her custom license plate that read “Bad Ma’am-a- Jamma” and roll right on up to Hillcrest High School or Graceland Jr. High with dollar in hand and listening to the Blues. Oh, she would be cussing the entire time....but she did it.

And, believe me, Grannie was FIERCE!! She could dress her butt off. She was about 6 feet tall and very slim. She had gold dentures with stars on them……she had a grill before the rappers ever thought about it!!! She was a hot number…..For Real!

I loved sitting on her lap when I was a baby or even when I was a grown ass man and having her rock me, that thought still helps me today. She could do it a lot longer when I was a baby, but she did not mind hooking me up with a rock or two whenever I came home on leave from the Navy. She was so proud of me. The memories of protecting me from situations at my mom's house that may not have always been ideal for me to be in for one reason or another, showed me just what strength was about; Grannie was not going to let anybody hurt her babies.

Oh, don't get me wrong, Grannie would grab a broomstick, shoe, extension cord......anything she needed to knock the "whocka-ball-shit" out of anybody that thought they were more grown than she and that included my momma and all of her siblings. I still don't know what a "whocka-ball" is.....and anybody reading this that is not a family member of mine, don't even try to understand. You see, Grannie had a language all her own when it came to cussing. For Real.

So, I will say this to you, Grannie. Thank you for your love and understanding; for raising me and all of my cousins when our parents did not know what the hell they were doing or just did not feel like doing what they needed to do. Thank you for the whoopings, the dollars, and the trips together from Memphis to Fitchburg (just me and you) and for introducing me to Nilla Wafers and hook cheese. Thank you for your steadfast devotion as the head of several houses. Thank you for opening your house to foster kids, most of who are still very much part of our family. Thank you for Joann, Annemarie, Sandra, Jody, Viola, Virgie, Kim, Tracy and Marrisa. Some of your grandkids have had some beautiful children that you would be rocking today if you were still with us. I feel so sorry for them because they will not have you there as we all did to love and be truly loved on. We love you and miss you much. Not a day goes by that we don’t think of you and how you have helped to shape our lives, even if we are not following your lead, you gave us the tools to do what we need to do. One Love…….For Real!