Starting Over.....

It’s just not right. How I can come so far and be happy with who I ARE and allow myself to be changed.

It’s just not right. How I allowed myself to be redefined when I had been still searching for me when WE became.

It’s just not right. How I set aside the light that shined in ME for the whole world to SEE just to transform into who you wanted me to BE. Cookie who?

It’s just not right….but, I loved B. too.

It’s just not right. How you thought it should be enough for me…. to have just you and she, and that I can find in you what I was missing in the uneventful life I had come to know. That’s my bad.

It’s just not right. How you loved me….the best way you knew how….but it wasn’t enough.

It’s just not right. How I loved you more than myself and it turned me resentful and angry and sad and pathetic and FAT!

The sad part is……It was all my fault.

I blame myself for allowing the change.

I blame myself for my redefining.

I blame myself for the dimmed light.

I’m still glad I loved B.

I blame myself for not being fulfilled.

I blame myself for not demanding more from your love.

I blame ME for what I allowed it to do to ME.

But, Today....I’m starting over…….